MM N 110. Literary sketch

Literary sketch. “She was a – swan –”.

No-MM_N0110-01.jpg. MM N 110, p. 1

MM N 110, p. 1

    She was a – swan – It glided
slowly across the water
with its long slender neck– it
looked about with kind eyes –
peered through the water which was light
blue with white clouds like
the sky above – It lived  … 

    I lived down there in the depths
I poked about among
blue-black vermin – greenish-brown
slime and all sorts of hideous creatures
[I] floundered about in the mire and
and remembered a time – when I
still lived up there
on the surfaces – amidst all the light blue – when
I did not have all this
mire in my bronchia

    I was frightened by
my own shadow    terror
gripped me and I had to rise to the surface

No-MM_N0110-02.jpg. MM N 110, p. 2

MM N 110, p. 2

to the bright colours

    I forced my way up from the depths – I
raised my head above
the water’s surface – it became so
blindingly bright – it hurt
my eyes and I
looked down and discovered my reflection
in the water how hideously pale
it was –

    There was the swan – it was so
lovely – – it had such kind
eyes – it was so blindingly
white –

    I reached out with my hands
it came closer – it did
not move – only glided closer
closer – until it was
so near I thought I could
touch it and embrace it – and press its white
breast to mine – rest my head against its
soft down then it did not
come closer – it glided around
me in a circle –
Come to me I said – I

No-MM_N0110-03.jpg. MM N 110, p. 3

MM N 110, p. 3

saw its breast had
become dirtied –
and discovered   …   that
the water around me was
turbid and grimy – and I
saw my reflection in the sediments
how terribly pale it was –

    I heard a terrible
scream – and I knew it was
I who had screamed –
The Swan became anxious –

    It glided away from me across
the water like the sky
above it was a brilliant blue – did
she also believe it was down there
– it looked about with kind
happy eyes –

    But I who knew everything –
who had known what lay
concealed under the shiny
surface – I could never be